Why university is not for me

University is sold to us as being the 'best years of your life'. The sad reality is that for many, this simply is not the case. I only ever post the highlight-reel of my life on internet, however I think it's important to open up, and be honest with my experience of university.

When I first found out that I had got into uni back in 2016, I was ecstatic. I really didn't think I would achieve the grades needed to get onto my course, so when results day came round and I found out I had in fact achieved the grades, the relief was unbelievable. The thought of being a fashion student, in one of my favourite cities, studying something I'm so passionate about felt like a dream come true. Weeks later, when the reality hit that I had to move out of my family home, the doubts came creeping in and the feeling of dread began. In the end, I decided to cancel my place in halls of residence and travel to uni instead which seemed like the perfect solution. In reality, it was actually far from perfect. The course was very cliquey, as a lot of the girls had done a foundation year and so had little desire to mingle with the new first years, therefore resulting in one very long and lonely year. Loneliness at university is a topic that I feel is not talked about enough. I made a couple of friends during my first year at uni, but as they all lived the 'uni life', I felt like I couldn't relate at all.

In the end, I dropped out of the course at the end of my first year, and enrolled as a student at the University of York. I cried tears of joy when the acceptance email came through. Finally, I'd be getting the university experience I always hoped for! The first couple of weeks felt like some of the best ever. To go from a university where I could get on the train at 6:30am and get back on the train at 6pm having not spoken to a single person all day, to living with 12 people non-stop felt like I was living with one big, extended family. However, harmony within the house did not last, and soon the cracks started to show and arguments erupted.

Having never been a confrontational person, I struggled and still struggle with conflict and arguments with housemates and to make matters worse, the course that I had chosen, seems like a million miles away from what I want to do in my career. It's so difficult to be at an age where you feel like you have to have your entire life mapped out, when you feel lost and clueless with what you want to do with it. It definitely doesn't help that I pay so much money to be here, and I just wish I was at home.

Living in York is a dream. The picture perfect streets, the beautiful architecture and bars (talking 'bout you Evil Eye!) are some of the things I'm going to miss when I finally graduate. I wish I was experiencing these things with the people I love, but instead I spend pretty much all of my free-time on FaceTime, pretending I'm still at home. I have some of the best memories, funny stories and laughs from my time in York, and some that I will cherish forever. In life, I think it's important to take the good, with the bad. Although my university experience is not the write-home, amazing experience I always hoped for, I do feel like some of the things I have had to deal with over the past year and a half have made me a stronger person, and shaped who I am today. For that, I will always be happy I persevered with uni.

I would absolutely love to hear your thoughts on your own university experience, the good and the bad, so drop a comment below or message me on my socials! Also would like to mention, that the inspiration for this post came after reading Chloe's post, so you should definitely check that out.

xo Nicole



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